If Gaslighting Were a Person
Possibly no single person has had a greater influence on conservative, lower-income households than the media mogul Rupert Murdoch. With dozens of media outlets under his control across the UK, Australia, the US, and other countries, Rupert has accumulated a vast, global media empire that promotes his business interests and politics.
Rupert’s dad was a regional newspaper magnate in South Australia. At only 21 years old, he inherited the small empire. According to the Economist, Rupert “invented the modern tabloid newspaper.” Doesn’t that sound delicious?
In the United States, Rupert owned Fox News, the Wall Street Journal, and the New York Post in addition to numerous smaller media outlets. Rupert’s modern tabloid style of “journalism” had people eating up captivating, scandalous headlines. Advertisers love a captive audience, even if that audience is there for controversy – welcome to the Attention Economy. He who holds your attention makes the most money. Rupert was the master of keeping people’s attention, even if it was all lies and false outrage.
Rupert could have used his vast media empire and incredible wealth to feed the hungry or cure cancer. Instead, he fought lawsuits brought by several of his children to inherit their share of the media empire. Rupert placed the entire media empire in the hands of his eldest and most conservative son. While not all billionaires put up a fight come harvest time, some of them just can’t seem to let it go – Rupert is stashing his enormous wealth in a new billionaire, his son Lachlan, to avoid the harvest.
Meme Worthy Flavors
Rupert Murdoch monopolized a global empire of media stations, accumulated hundreds of billions of dollars based on lies that tear families apart, and then passed his assets (tax-free) to a new, baby billionaire who will be ten times worse. In our humble opinions as chefs, this meme should be required viewing:
So, you might understand that Rupert and Lachlan’s massive fortune doesn’t sit right with some people. Some people snap! Some people create guillotine-themed websites about eating the rich in the hopes that fighting propaganda with satire is an effective strategy. Anyway… where were we? Oh yes – let’s see just how plump Rupert Murdoch got, and how much unearned wealth Lachlan Murdoch is starting with!
Master of the Attention Economy
Like the above meme, the Murdoch family’s entire “strategy” has simply been to divide people based on their fears and insecurities. The tabloid-energy propaganda is based almost entirely on creating fear of “other” people. Murdoch media companies tell people, “Be scared of immigrants, be scared of LGBTQ+ folks, be scared of your own shadow!”
Rupert’s rhetorical tactics were incredibly successful in traditional media, and even more successful in the internet’s new Attention Economy that rewards accounts for posting shocking and engaging content. Using tricks to keep people’s attention and spread falsehoods, the Murdochs have grown into truly plump billionaires, ripe for the harvest.
Let’s break down Rupert’s LIFETIME earnings, per hour, considering his entire infancy, childhood, education, and career:
- Born 1931 – 2026 = 95 years = 34,675 days = 832,200 total hours
- Accumulated Wealth = $22,700,000,000 ($22.7 billion)
- For every day of his life, Rupert Murdoch has made the equivalent of $27,277 PER HOUR, 24 HOURS A DAY.
Those aren’t just adult work hours. Rupert grew at a rate of $27k every hour he has been alive. As he nears death, he plans to pass this massive accumulated wealth to his son, Lachlan Murdoch, who is only 54 years old. Lachlan will get to build or dispense with this money as he pleases and will likely use it to convince more poor people to support the billionaires who are robbing them blind.
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Murdoch and Chocolate Chip Cookies
While Rupert and Lachlan Murdoch are busy cooking up the next conspiracy theory, we’ll be busy cooking up a batch of these delicious, incredibly affordable cookies.
Not only is this recipe an act of rebellion, but when you share these cookies with your immigrant neighbors, you can actually undo some of the harm caused by the years of Murdoch propaganda spreading racist dog whistles to misrepresent immigrants and minorities.
In honor of the famous “stealing your cookie” meme, this recipe has been adapted from Chocolate Covered Katie’s excellent Chocolate Chip Cookie recipe to incorporate the delectable and unique flavors of the infamous Murdoch clan. We can’t wait to finish the billionaire harvest and share a batch with all our immigrant friends!
Murdoch and Chocolate Chip Cookies
- 1 cup white, oat, or spelt flour
- 1/2 tsp baking soda
- 1/4 tsp salt
- 1/4 cup sugar, unrefined if desired
- 1/4 cup brown sugar or coconut sugar
- 1/3 cup chocolate chips
- 2 tbsp non-dairy milk of choice, plus more if needed
- 2 tbsp oil or melted vegan butter
- 1/4 tsp pure vanilla extract
Basically, you’re just gonna mix all this shit together in a bowl while you brood about how fucked up it is that an Australian immigrant has spent decades making your grandpa hate immigrants, for the sole reason of dividing America so his billionaire cronies could make even more money. We’re not gonna lie – Chocolate Covered Katie covers this recipe in much better detail. We’re mostly here to ask you to make some anti-billionaire cookies, then take an action to ask your congressional representatives to more fairly tax the ultra-wealthy.
If you haven’t actually figured it out yet, this is a satire website used to show people the enormous wealth that billionaires accumulate. Murdoch’s $27k per hour (his entire life) pales in comparison to some of the wealthiest billionaires.
At the same time, $22.7 billion is more money than any person (or family) could ever need. Instead of using it to help the poor or to advocate for sensible immigration laws, the Murdochs use their enormous wealth to make poor people afraid of other poor people. Don’t be afraid, eat a cookie.
Please enjoy your cookies, and don’t forget that sharing with your neighbor makes your community healthier and costs next to nothing.
